Is Our Soul the Culprit of the Deep Darkness?
The dark night of the soul is a time when we move into the biggest challenge of our mind, emotions, and most certainly our ego.  We are frozen.  We have no answers to get out of one or more of the greatest challenges of our life.  We cannot even feel inspiration from the Divine.  Angels appear to not be speaking to us, no matter how often we ask.  Life is bleak, feels bleak, and we feel totally and completely incapable to create a change.
The experience of the dark night of the soul may come through our experiences of great loss due to death, loss of our health,  loss of employment, loss of money, and surely loss of creative feelings. Depression has spored into our being and we cannot change it.   We have no way to dig out of our hole, or so it seems.  Sometimes this state of deepest emotional darkness leaves us believing we can no longer live and all hope for a better day dies.
Many have written of the dark night of the soul.  I have appreciated the messages.  I was reading those words from another person this week and it made me contemplate the dark night of the soul again.  In my life, I have visited what I would call the dark night of my soul.  Not fun.  Quite fearful.  Very bleak.
I came through several different thoughts over the last few days as I’ve contemplated the soul, our emotional challenges and the feelings that occur at those deepest, darkest moments.  I finally had an insight that it is not the dark night of the soul we are experiencing.
I believe the soul is the light of our higher essence.  It is the Master consciousness embedded in our human unconscious.  Our soul is the power and drive that encourages us to take the life journey we take.  The soul was first activated when the Holy Spirit released the particles of Itself into individuated expressions.  How could there be a dark night of the soul?
I thought more about the lack of ability to climb out of our shadow and lack of sensations needed to move from the darkness.  I wondered if that was the soul in depression and feeling the sadness of the challenges our personality either couldn’t or wouldn’t move beyond.  Then I had the “aha,” moment.
These events in our life are not the dark night of the soul. No matter how deep, dark and bleak the experiences are, it is not a soul expression.
The soul conscious is deliberately waiting for our personality-self  to move beyond the dark night of our subconscious fears that grip us so tightly that we cannot see or feel the light of the soul.  The deepest emotional loss that we feel is the possible loss of the identity of our ego that believes in the “less than or greater than” messages of human conditioning.  It is the time when we are going through the black hole of our own being and the light contained within the center of this black hole is our Soul Light (we may also know it is the Light of the Divine).  This moment of the deepest darkness is another universe of our self that we are getting ready to birth and experience, if we let it happen.
Our fear of change, fear of being something different, and possibly becoming even more than we are, gets in the way.  And, when it happens again and again, then the shadow of Great Fear takes over.  Our subconscious fears take a firm grip and affirms as well as confirms that we are truly incapable of ever achieving peace, prosperity, love, success, harmony, or other ideals we are waiting to experience.  The fears remind us how deplorable we are.  After all, we haven’t achieved what we wanted so far, how can we now?  Perhaps we have had a good run at it, but then it falters.  We experience the losses as reminders that we are not good enough for anything.
This is truly the pathway of our imprinted memories of challenges and unworthiness.  It is the beatings we have taken from others (mentally, physically or emotionally) or from our own self. We have taken all of the negative and compounded it to such a state of density that we cannot move our emotions, thoughts, and our ego to accept the fact that we have the power to make the changes that bring us out of the dark.  Ah, it is not the dark night of the soul.  It most certainly is the dark night of our deepest fears activating the message to stop trying to have our life turn around.
Our soul, the magickal quality of the Higher Light and the blessed image of the Divine, is attempting to aid our personality to make changes.  It keeps helping us walk into walls, if necessary,  until we reach the reality that change is better than remaining in the same dungeon of self imposed punishments.  The soul is not the depression nor the losses.  It is the Light always there and the patient aspect of our being to walk whatever path our personality self is choosing to follow.  It is the Light waiting to be discovered when we are willing to drill through the walls of our dreads enhanced by an ego living in low esteem.
This is my contemplation…what is your contemplation?  I’m always interested to hear from you and do thank those of you who send me messages about these articles.  Together we form the team that is creating changes that heal.
                      …Until Next Time:
From My Heart to Your Heart
Love and Blessings,
Rev. Katherine Bell, Ph.D.,D.D.